Welcome to my blog! If you’re here for the first time, welcome, and if you’ve visited before, welcome back. My name is Jill Nicholson, and I’ve been a trauma therapist for 25 years. If, like me, you are fascinated by what makes us tick—why we think, feel, and act the way we do—then you’re in the right place.
Today, we’re diving into the biographical musical film Better Man, which tells the story of British pop star Robbie Williams. However, rather than just reviewing the film, we will explore it through the lens of childhood trauma and how it can shape adulthood, leaving individuals vulnerable to addiction and self-destruction.
If you haven’t seen Better Man yet, be warned—this blog contains spoilers! You may want to watch the movie first and then return for this in-depth discussion.
Better Man: A Unique Take on Robbie Williams’ Life
Better Man isn’t just another biopic; it employs a striking narrative technique by portraying Robbie Williams as a CGI chimpanzee. At first, this creative choice might seem unusual, but it serves as a powerful metaphor for Williams’ feelings of being “less evolved” than others. The expressive face of the ‘Robbie Williams chimp’—especially as a child—was deeply evocative and heart-wrenching.
This imagery speaks to a universal human struggle: not feeling like we are “enough.” Whether it’s not being good enough, smart enough, successful enough, or lovable enough, this sense of inadequacy is something many of us have wrestled with at some point. The film masterfully illustrates how these feelings can be amplified by trauma and how they can shape the course of a person’s life.
The Trauma Imprint: Robbie Williams’ Early Years
The movie follows Williams’ journey from his early days in Stoke-on-Trent, his meteoric rise with the boy band Take That, and his subsequent solo career, which was marked by struggles with addiction and mental health.
One of the most poignant scenes occurs in Robbie’s childhood living room before his father left. Frank Sinatra’s My Way plays on the TV, and Robbie and his dad sing along, sharing a moment of pure joy. But in an instant, that joy is shattered—Robbie accidentally knocks something over, and the mood shifts dramatically. This small, seemingly insignificant moment encapsulates something much deeper: how fragile a child’s sense of safety and belonging can be.
The departure of his father left an emotional imprint—a trauma scar that couldn’t be seen but was deeply felt. This loss likely contributed to feelings of rejection and unworthiness that haunted Robbie throughout his life.
The Repetition of Trauma and Addiction
Psychologists have long studied the phenomenon of repeating trauma patterns in an unconscious attempt (out with our awareness) to resolve past wounds. Freud referred to this as the ‘compulsion to repeat’—a drive to recreate unresolved trauma, hoping for a different outcome.
For Robbie Williams, this pattern manifested publicly. Despite his immense fame and devoted fans, he struggled with self-worth and self-loathing. His bandmates eventually suggested he leave Take That due to his escalating substance use and erratic behaviour. While their decision may have been practical, for Robbie, it likely reinforced his deepest fear: abandonment.
The impact of trauma isn’t just about what happens to us—it’s about what happens inside us in response. Two people can experience similar events but react in completely different ways. This isn’t about strength or weakness, nor is it a judgment—it’s a reminder that trauma affects each person uniquely.
Understanding Addiction: The Key Question
People often wonder how someone with fame, fortune, and talent could spiral into addiction. But instead of asking, “Why is this person an addict?” a more useful question is: What relief is the person trying to find in the drug or the addictive behaviour?
Addiction is often a coping mechanism for deep-seated pain. I once worked with a client who turned to cocaine as a way to escape the pressure of his career. It wasn’t about the drug itself—it was about what the drug gave him: a temporary sense of invincibility, a break from the crushing weight of self-doubt. Perhaps Robbie Williams’ addiction served a similar purpose.
The Monkey Symbol: A Reflection of Self-Image and Trauma Loops
The depiction of Robbie as a monkey in Better Man is more than just a stylistic choice—it is a reflection of his deep-seated beliefs about himself. Trauma can trap individuals in self-sabotaging cycles. Imposter syndrome, self-loathing, and destructive behaviours often stem from unresolved childhood wounds.
In one powerful scene, while performing on stage, Robbie sees his ‘demons’ in the audience—angry, critical versions of himself. This visual representation of inner turmoil is a common experience for those struggling with trauma and addiction. The harshest voices are often the ones inside our own minds.
Attachment Wounds and the Roots of Addiction
Robbie’s story is also one of attachment wounds. His father’s departure planted the belief that “people you love leave” and “I am not enough.” When core wounds like these remain unresolved, individuals may turn to substances or self-destructive behaviours to fill the void.
Healing from addiction requires addressing these wounds. It isn’t just about quitting a substance—it’s about learning to regulate emotions, develop self-worth, and break free from destructive cycles. Therapy, self-reflection, and support systems play crucial roles in this process.
A Moment of Healing: The Power of Reconciliation
Despite the darkness, Better Man gives us a hopeful and emotional ending. One of the most moving moments is when Robbie Williams performs My Way at the Royal Albert Hall with his estranged father. This scene serves as a bridge between past and present, a powerful symbol of reconciliation and healing.
Throughout his life, Robbie spoke about being a “masking champion,” hiding his lack of confidence and self-worth behind bravado and showmanship. But in this final performance, the mask slips away. The demons that once tormented him from the audience now watch in quiet acceptance. In this moment, we see a man who is no longer at war with himself but at peace.
Final Thoughts: You Are Enough
I absolutely loved this movie, not just as a fan of Robbie Williams but as a therapist who sees the profound truths it portrays. Better Man reminds us that our past may shape us, but it doesn’t have to define us.
If you have ever struggled with feelings of not being enough, with addiction, or with the pain of childhood trauma, know this: you are not alone. Healing is possible. It takes self-awareness, support, and sometimes professional guidance, but transformation can happen.
What did you think of the movie? I’d love to hear your thoughts. If this discussion resonates with you, please like, subscribe, and share your experiences in the comments.
And always remember: You are enough.
CLICK HERE to find out more about working with JIll one-to-one.
CLICK HERE to find out more about training in THE RAPID IMPRINT RESOLUTION METHOD (for Counsellors/Therapists, Hypnotherapists, Mental Health Professionals & EFT Practitioners.)
😀 BTW Do you know I have a Youtube Channel?🎬 CLICK HERE to check it out. I explore the intersection of mindset, mental health, and popular culture—diving deep into topics like emotional eating, overcoming trauma, and managing anxiety, all with a warm, relatable, and empowering approach to healing and transformation✨
